What is real and what is Facebook??

I love Facebook.  I am able to keep in touch with family - brothers, sisters, sisters-in-law, aunts, and lots of cousins that I otherwise would not be able keep in touch with.  I've also been able to reconnect with high school and college friends that I always wondered about.  And, I keep in touch with new friends and acquaintances that stay busy and post about their busy lives.

But, recently, I felt and acted like I was back in elementary school while I was on Facebook.  I've learned as I've gotten older that most of us don't feel as if we belong, as if we're odd (and truth be told, we all are a little odd!).  I always felt that way growing up.  I've never fully understood why my sisters could have lots of friends while I could only make a few, but I've accepted, for the most part, who I am as I've matured.

And, then, last Friday was my birthday.  I honestly don't care if anyone outside of my family acknowledges my birthday in real life.  In fact, the only person who really counts is my husband.  Otherwise, it's not really a blip on what's important in life, especially now that it falls just a few days after the worst tragedies in recent American history.  It's hard to celebrate when the rest of the country is remembering 9/11.

For some reason this year, my birthday was not posted on Facebook, and I felt like I did in elementary school - that no one liked me.  As if Facebook is a big, school type community and the person with the most likes is the popular one.  I know in my heart that I have friends and family who would have wished me happy birthday if they had known.  And, in real life, it didn't matter if someone called and wished me happy birthday.  But, after having gone all day with no birthday wishes, I posted "....I'm going to eat some worms" after that old song "Nobody likes me, everybody hates me, I'm going to eat some worms."  The next morning, the sense was back in my head and I deleted the post.

So, I apologize.  I really have matured.  I just had a lapse of feeling as if I was back in elementary school, or younger.  It may happen once in awhile.  I'm never going to be the popular one, and I know that.  And, I'm okay with that.  I'm loved by my family and that's what matters most. 

I'm 46!!!!

Jeanne/jazdia